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bamboo plant



A bamboo plant in a small glass rectangular vase.


Why It’s Here:

Pardon some philosophizing, but bamboo makes me all zen and cheap generic levitra'>cheap generic levitra thoughtful:

The “why it’s here” portion of these writeups is a curious beast.  While those words can be seen as a simple prompt for explanation—how did this thing arrive at this location?—there is a more charged, and in many cases more likely meaning:

“What is wrong with this?”

For something to have arrived at this table, it stands to reason that someone in the building held the thing in their hands and thought, “I do not want this.”  The act of putting something into the swapmeet is unavoidably also the act of rejection.

And yet, the object so rejected is order levitra now'>order levitra now considered to have value.  Perhaps only theoretical value, true—by putting a thing on the table, the prior owner is not necessarily saying “someone will want this”; they may only be saying “someone might want this”, with an explict or tacit coda:  “…though god knows why they would.”

And so the question of “why it’s here” acts as a sort of viagra canadian dark, unloving yin to the “probable recipient” yang, complementary meditations on the desirable and the undesirable.  Partners in an acknowledgement of the possibility of an object being simultaneously valueless and valuable, disposable and utile, trash and treasure.

The laundryroom swapmeet, then becomes a sort of nexus of ownership, a still, quiet eye in the existential storm.  A wormhole, if you will, through which possessions may travel from illfitting owners to those who can better love them.

So why is this bamboo plant here?  It is here because this is where it was put.  It is here because this is where things go.  It is here because it must stop here, however briefly, if it is to make the journey from the place Where It Was to the place Where It Should Be.

And it is here because the fucking thing makes anyone who looks at it go into a zen trance and go on for paragraphs at a time.  It’s goddam voodoo, man!  Stay away!


Probable Recipient:

A yuppie.  Yuppies love bamboo.  I read it in a magazine. 


And now, your moment of zen:

[sound of Josh being sued into paste by The Daily Show's law team]


  1. JadeNB Said,

    September 21, 2006 @ 10:26 am

    This is the Web. You don’t post a description of a sound, you post a clip.

    We’re waiting.

  2. Josh Millard Said,

    September 21, 2006 @ 10:32 am

    Actually, that law team is so thorough that they pre-emptively acquired performative rights to the recording of my legal beatdown. I’d have to pay them royalties!

  3. bjkeefe Said,

    September 27, 2006 @ 12:56 am

    Your otherwise perfectly state of zen was marred by the inclusion of the phrase “if you will.”

    Don’t use this phrase. It makes you sound like Dick Cheney.

    And that is about as bad as karma gets.

  4. Josh Millard Said,

    September 27, 2006 @ 6:51 am

    Oh, it’s just a dialectal vocal interjection. Cheney didn’t exactly have dibs.

    As it were.

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