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Archive for October, 2006

meta – mr stroller jilted

Is a little happiness too much to cheapest cialis online ask for?  Mr. Stroller had only just found some joy and buy discount cialis companionship, and now, so soon, he is alone again.

Why, Ms. Stroller?  Why did you leave?  Can’t you see what a state you’ve left this poor vehicle in?  He sits in the dim corner, capable only of buy viagra cheap wondering how he ended up in such a sorry situation.  What, he wonders, next?

Comments (2)

tiki bar sign

  

Item:

A hand-painted sign that says “TiKi BAR” in yellow paint.  There’s black fabric piping around the edges of the words.

 

Why It’s Here:

The tiki bar closed down. 

 

Probable Recipient:

Whoever re-opens the tiki bar. 

 

Why did the viagra soft tiki bar cross the tiki bar?

To get to the other tiki bar.

Comments (1)

intercultural communication

  

Item:

A copy of Intercultural Communication, by Ron Scollon and Suzanne Wong Scollon.

 

Why It’s Here:

Previous owner dropped out of the class because he couldn’t understand where the professor was coming from.

 

Probable Recipient:

The resident mad scientist, who is wow look it best price for cialis looking to foster some collaboration between his various strains of sentient yogurt.

 

Boy George:

should have done commercials for Yoplait.  Adopting “Karma Chameleon” lyrics for a yogurt jingle is left as an exercise for the reader.

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folding table thingy

  

Item:

A folding table (I guess) with a diamond-shape blue/green/yellow pattern on top.

 

Why It’s Here:

To flush out the epileptics?  That tabletop pattern is seriously loud.  It’s all like HELLO THERE I AM A TABLE LOOK AT ME AAAAARRRRGGG TABLE TABLE TABLE.

 

Probable Recipient:

Someone with poor hearing.

 

LA LA LA LOOKIT ME:

TABLE TABLE TABLE TABLE

Comments

black jewelry box

  

Item:

A small black jewelry box, topped by shiny embroidered beads.

 

Why It’s Here:

The last time a jewelry box showed up, I didn’t know what the hell it was.  My wife pointed out that it was a jewelry box.  Which it clearly is, I suppose.

So this?  This is here to give me a chance to correctly identify it.  Salvation.  Redemption.  I am a whole man once more.

 

Probable Recipient:

One of those lucky, dashing, incredibly desirable people who can successfully identify jewelry boxes. 

 

Warning, bad joke follows:

What do you call earrings shaped like Ali and Foreman?

Jewelry boxers!

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meta – mr stroller gets some play

  

It’s been a while since we checked in on levitra Mr. Stroller (who was introduced in this post).  In the interim, I’m happy to report that he has stuck around.

And it seems to be paying off.  Who is this lovely lady, strollering beside him down in the laundryroom?  Is it too presumptuous to pfizer levitra 50mg'>pfizer levitra 50mg refer to her as Mrs. Stroller?  Perhaps.  We’ll see what happens with these crazy kids.

I’m so happy for Mr. Stroller.  He’s such a great guy.

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spiral-base desk lamp

  

Item:

A shiny brushed-metal desk lamp with a spiral-tubing base.

 

Why It’s Here:

I’ve noticed that we see a lot of lamps at the swapmeet [uno, dos, tres].  And what do we do when we have a trend?

We make up a theory! 

Swapmeet Lamp Theorem: lamps are more consistently swappable than any other furnishing, according to three factors:

  1. They are inexpensive enough to get rid of casually
  2. They are small enough to carry down to the swapmeet table
  3. They are useful enough to not just throw away

That’s it right there.  That’s the real stuff, folks.  Science in action.

 

Probable Recipient:

Someone looking to spruce up their grow-op.

 

I think it would be funny:

to convince some unsuspecting entrepreneur/marketeer that “grow-op” is actually just industry short-hand for “growth opportunity”.  Get them to start using it in business pitches and stuff.

“Yes sir, Tom, this a real money-making opportunity.  Get in on the ground floor, my friend, because I’m talking about a genuine grow-op!  I’m talking ab—what?  Whassamatter?”

Comments (3)

christmas lights

  

Item:

A bag of used miniature christmas light strings, including a baggie of http://banter-latte.annotations.com/buy-real-viagra spare bulbs.

 

Why It’s Here:

Why is it here in October, particularly—Christmas is either several months away or even severaler months past!  I suppose someone could be thinking that someone else is planning ahead, but that’s crazy talk.

 

Probable Recipient:

Someone who is planning ahead.

 

And that:

is crazy talk.

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blaker on photography

  

Item:

Photography – Art and Technique, by Alfred Blaker.

 

Why It’s Here:

There were actually eleven—eleven!—other books by Blaker, deposited at the swapmeet table over time, though all the rest were deposited before this site came into being.

This is simply the capstone, the final, twelfth volume in the Blaker’s dozen.

 

Probable Recipient:

Me, actually.  Despite the copious evidence on this site to the contrary, I sometimes try to http://skunkgal.com/cialis-on-line take good photographs.  And anything that might help me make short, stumbling steps in the general direction of competence deserves to be saved from the swapmeet and left, unread, on the floor of my apartment indefinitely.

Pulitzer, here I come!

 

That Blaker’s dozen pun.  Really.

Look, I’d like to see you do better!  You think this is only now viagra or cialis easy?  You think this sort of thing just writes itself?

Oh, I know!  I’ll just head on over to your website at giftexchange.laundromat.com and see what sort of wonderful brilliant things you have to say about Alfred Blaker’s non-fiction works, and—oh wait, there’s no such website!

So quit smothering me!

[slams door to bedroom]

Comments (2)

pcc kaleidoscope catalog

  

Item:

A stack of the current issue of kaleidoscope, the catalog for Portland Community College.

 

Why It’s Here:

You know how they do “college week” sometimes on Jeopardy and buy cheap generic cialis'>buy cheap generic cialis Wheel of Fortune?  I think maybe it’s something like that.

 

Probable Recipient:

Theodore Roosevelt!

 

Theodore Roosevelt?

I am incredibly high right now.

Comments (2)