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Archive for May, 2007

glass and cialis label'>cialis label matting

Item:

A sheet of glass, about the try it canadian pharmacy cialis generic size of a piece of viagra online cheap A4 paper, with some pressboard backing material.

Why It’s Here:

Once you’ve torn out the daguerreotype of your great-great-grandmother’s wedding day and used it as rolling paper, you don’t really need the frame anymore.

Probable Recipient:

Somebody who is out of green but has too many dang daguerreotype’s laying around beggin’ for framin’.

Who can spell daguerreotype, anyway?

I had to look it up like three times. And I have no idea how to pronounce it. At some point I’ll be put on the spot and I’ll be stuck either Elmer Fudding it into the ground or just shouting “DOGGERTYPE!!!” and punching someone in the face to change the subject.

Comments (4)

EM5014 inspiration perfume

  

Item:

A bottle of cyan-colored AIRWICK EM5014 Inspiration perfume.

 

Why It’s Here:

Previous owner has a rare dissociative disorder that has crippled his mind such that he can only recognize objects by vague descriptive properties.  He saw “blue and sloshy” and thought, okay, I guess I do need mouthwash.

 

Probable Recipient:

Distraught, panicky members of Chicago, glad finally to have relocated it after a long period of meaninglessness.

They wanna have it near them.

 

I like the only now viagra online cheap phrase “toilet water”:

It really kind of brings the whole cosmetics industry back down to earth.

Comments (2)

worlds most beautiful puzzle

  

Item:

The World’s Most Beautiful Jigsaw Puzzle, dolphin edition.

 

Why It’s Here:

Because it was just.  too.  beautiful.  Too much to behold, too much to fathom; the dolphins glistened so brightly, the airbrushed waves swayed preternaturally even in the dim tungsten light of http://joshmillard.com/levitra-10mg the previous owner’s studio apartment.

Whole, it taunted them with its beauty: and so they broke it into a thousand pieces!  But shame overcame them, and so they created this box, as both house and explanation, confession and container, and left it in the laundry room for another, stronger soul to buy generic cialis online piece back together.

 

Probable Recipient:

Some old lady with too much time on her hands.

 

And the thing is:

that you just know it’s missing like three pieces, but you don’t want to sit down and count out the pieces one by one ahead of time—a thousand of them!—and so you just try to put the damn thing together, and all the while it’s there in the back of your mind, itching at you: there’s going to be a piece missing.  There’s going to be a piece missing.

Comments

orange flower necklace

Item:

An orange beaded necklace with a fake flower for decoration.

Why It’s Here:

Let me put it this way. Luau? More like Luout. As in of fashion. OMG.

Probable Recipient:

Someone looking for something a little different in a garter.

Is this really a necklace, though?

I’m not very good at this sort of thing. Maybe it’s a headband? I can’t remember how big the thing was.

Comments (3)

spagetti maker box

  

Item:

A brown cardboard box labelled “spagetti maker”, with what looked like it could be a spaghetti maker inside.

 

Why It’s Here:

Have you ever been to a grocery store?  They have a pasta section.  You can buy spaghetti.  For like a buck.  And then you just go home and look there canadian viagra boil water.  It’s a modern goddam miracle of convenience—and on a tired-out evening, when you just want to kick back with some pasta and an episode of buying cialis in canada Antiques Roadshow, hauling out the Spagetti Maker starts to sound like a lot of work.  Crazy talk.  Nutso.  It’s like handwashing your underwear, not because the wow)) cheap generic cialis washer is on the blink, but just for fun.

A spaghetti maker is like touching dirty underwear, is what I’m saying.

 

Probable Recipient:

A panty-raider with tremendously bad eyesight.

 

I want to mock the spelling of ’spagetti’:

But it gets like 1.5M google hits to the 5M for ’spaghetti’, so it must be a pretty common variant.  So instead, I’m just going to suggest that people start using “rhavioli” to even things out a bit.

Comments (1)

pair of black shoes

Item:

It’s a pair of black shoes, dressy and in good condition.

 

Why It’s Here:

Because this is levitra to order'>levitra to order the laundry room.  This is the table where people put things.  The table where, in theory, I take pictures of things and post those pictures on we choice get cialis online the internet and say funny things about them.

 

Probable Recipient:

Someone for whom they are the right size and to get pharmacy'>get pharmacy whom the look of the shoes is appealing.  Will they try them on in the laundry room, or just eyeball the size and test the order prescription cialis'>order prescription cialis fit only later, in the comfort of their own apartment?  And if the latter, then if the shoes turn out not to fit, what then?  A stealthy return?  Into the wastebin?

 

So it’s been like months:

And a few of buy prescription levitra without'>buy prescription levitra without you have left nice comments saying, “hey, update!”  And so, here we go.  I’m going to try to update.  It won’t be daily like it used to be, unless I really feel like it that week etc, but I’ll make an effort.  I’ll even try to be funny; consider this a sort of deadpan peace offering while I stretch my legs.

So hi, again.  How’ve you been?

Comments (6)